by Deanna Kahler
Thoughts scatter like thunderstorms, rumbling through her mind
Her heart reaches out to the waves gently rolling in
They beckon her to flow with them, back and forth
She knows there is a natural rhythm to life
Only sometimes she fights against it
Against what is and what must be
Against what she feels in her heart and what she knows in her head
She is the earth, the wind and the sea
She is the sun, the moon and the stars
She is both light and dark, only more light than many
She knows this
Yet she feels separate from who she is, who she was and who she will become
Some days, she spreads her wings and soars across the sky
Other days, she sinks into the earth, afraid to make a move
She loves deeply
Feels deeply
Fears deeply
Her passion fuels her to create, guide and protect
It brings her to places she never thought she could go
And people she was destined to meet
If you hold out your hand, she will walk with you through the storm
She will fight quietly for those she holds dear
She will be the one who won’t let you give up on yourself
And yet something holds her back from all that she could be
Maybe it’s the voices in her head who tell her she’s not good enough
Or the people who pity her or stare at her when she arrives at the party alone
Perhaps it’s that little girl inside who feels she failed or is afraid to try something new
Whatever the source, she’s working hard to overcome it
She’s learning to embrace the silence and travel through the loneliness
She’s learning to listen to the earth, the wind and the sea
To become the sun, the moon and the stars
She wants to be a light in a world that has gone dim
She wants to love and be loved
Not for the person someone else wants her to be, but for the soul she is
She walks across the pier looking down into the water
An unexpected thought crosses her mind
What would it be like to jump and sink to the bottom of the lake?
But she is stronger than that
She brushes the thought aside, like a brush of her hair
And she says to herself:
I am the earth, the wind and the sea
I am the sun, the moon and the stars
I am a part of everything that ever was and everything that ever will be
I will survive, just as I am meant to
And in that moment, she becomes one with the very waves she has fought against
7-6-2023
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